Dish Soap and Independence

Yesterday I had a moment when I realized I had to refill the dish soap.

Nate has always refilled our dish soap. There’s a special ratio involved that I knew nothing about, and right then I realized that I must be an independent wife.

In my ward there are many women whose husbands work a lot more than mine (most of them are in medicine), and they give me excellent perspective because they have mastered this wifely independence principle. If you have a husband who works a lot, you have to establish a life where you can’t depend on him to be there all the time. That may sound sad, but it’s been rather liberating for me. I can do fun activities and projects without him because he’s paying his dues now to get a more consistent job later on.

“Running the household”, especially when you don’t have kids, always seemed a little silly and something only Jane Austen heroines would do (quite fabulously I might add, with lots of flower arranging and cushion embroidering), but it is a real job that takes a surprising amount of time (even when you live in only 500 square feet).

I’m so glad we got married in school where we shared the household tasks because it really eased me into my new role. I am so happy hanging out with other women whose husbands work a lot and I love this new city.

And yesterday, I refilled the dish soap and became an adult.